Just the Right Amount of Time

There were 6 months between the day we accepted Steve's job offer in San Francisco and the day we loaded up the moving truck and drove away from our community.  I think God knew we need that much time to grieve, process, pray, narrow down neighborhoods, and prepare our family to move to Oakland.

Next, there were 8 months between the day that we moved to Oakland and the day Brian started as the new ED of The GreenHouse.  I think God knew that I needed that much time for my very raw heart to be able to hand over such a special gift.  It was such a slow and gentle loosening.   

Then, there were 9 months between Brian's first day at The GreenHouse and my first day at Aspire Public Schools.  I think God knew that I needed that much time and space to heal before I could open my heart up to something new.  I think He also knew that The GreenHouse needed me to be available to answer questions and provide support any day of the week by phone, text, email, or in person.  What a gift it was to have that time and to be able to share it so freely with the people and the organization that I love so dearly!   

So, it was almost 2 years exactly from the time I knew I'd be leaving the GH to the time I started a new job in Oakland. 

It was just the right amount of time.

And, you know what?  God provided just the right job, too.

When I began to think about going back to work, I knew I wanted three things: 1.) I only wanted to work two days a week so that I could maintain some semblance of order around our household.  2.) I wanted to work at a school (in Oakland) so I could have summers off with the boys.  3.) I didn't want to start until January.

Well, the first job I applied for, I got.  And it met all of those criteria.  What's more, it's in my very neighborhood of Oakland, exactly one mile from my house.  If you know me, which you do, you know how much I value neighborhood.   

I am now a Speech and Language Pathologist at ERES Academy, a charter school within the Aspire Public Schools system (a system of charter schools that operates in low-income neighborhoods).  ERES Academy is sweet little K-8th school in which 94% of its students are Hispanic and 94% of its students are on free and reduced lunch.  In so many ways, it feels like home.  I'm really enjoying all of my students and the satisfaction that comes with teaching.  (I also really like working.)     

I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.  God is STILL, two years later, giving me a giant hug throughout this whole transition. I can hear Him saying, "I know this is so hard for you.  But, don't worry.  I'm going to take care of you - again and again and again - so that you know that I am real and I love you."   

Friends: Old and New

Today I was missing Sacramento friends.  Having been at The Harvest Carnival at Ninos Park for the last twelve consecutive years, it felt really strange to be missing the thirteenth installment of that special event today.

Had I not just been at The GreenHouse on Thursday, delivering some donated couches for the new Clubhouse, I probably would have been there today.  But, it was too much for me to do that drive again today.  And actually, I'm thinking that it all worked out the way it was supposed to:  Me with my family in my new town, continuing to plant roots here and nurture new relationships;  The GreenHouse, growing strong on its own, developing new routines, carrying on community traditions.  (Though, I'm not gonna lie. It was hard for me to not be there today.  I would have loved to have said hello to all of the parents and given squeezes to all of the kids.).   

In spite of some sadness over missing friends from The GreenHouse today, I was moved with gratitude for the new friendships that are being formed here in Oakland.  One very special friendship that is growing is between Riley and his buddy from school Jaelyn.  They both love each other to pieces.   We caught them sharing a chair, arms around each other, after their soccer game today.  Sneaky Nicolas photo-bombed the picture, but I still love it and all that it says about how far we've come this past year. 

 
They couldn't have known how much my heart needed this moment today! 

Contrasts

Today I'm headed up to Sacramento.  It'll be my first time back since my "farewell events" at The GreenHouse so I'm a mixed bag of emotions this morning.    

I've got three things on the agenda.  First, a late lunch with this guy.  I'm pretty excited.  He invited me to join him at "his restaurant" (where he works).  Should be a fun time of catching up and sharing. 

Second, a meeting to discuss how to help this young woman.   A small team of us will be gathering with her mom this afternoon to discuss how to come around and support this teenager who is struggling with all areas of life and rapidly spiraling downward.  We'll also discuss how to support the entire family through an ugly eviction process (the eviction is the result of the teen's behavior).  If you are the praying type, please pray for this young woman, her family, and the team of people who will be meeting today.  God has done miracles in this family before and we are praying He does one again.  

 

 And finally, tonight I will be going to Grant High School to celebrate the graduation of two very special young woman, Lola and Crystal (Lola is pictured below).  I've known them both since they were itty bitties so we have loads of memories together.  I love them to pieces and couldn't be more proud.  In the fall, Lola will be starting at Sacramento State University!  In the entire time I've been at The GreenHouse, I know of only ONE other student that went directly from high school into a four year university.  It's a really, really big deal.  Crystal will also be going to college in the fall, at American River College.  And third senior from the GH, Johanna, will be graduating tonight, too, across town at a different high school.  Sadly I will have to miss that one.  But she too, will be going on to junior college in fall.  Three cheers for three young woman finishing high school and going on to college!       

Such stark contrasts.  My mind is reeling about all of the factors that go into a young person's life - some have factors in their lives that seem to hinder them from ever "making it."  Others have factors that help to ensure that they will be okay.  Family structure and cohesion, immigration status, resiliency, addictions, job stability, housing, education, health, friends, mentors, opportunities, faith.  So many factors.  Praying that Hope wins this time around for all of these young people. 

Unexpected Gifts

It's been three weeks since the new Executive Director started at The GreenHouse.  We've been working very hard trying to transfer volumes of information from my brain to his.  It's a lot of ground to cover.  Add to that all of the emotions that go along with leaving, loooong days of commuting up to Sacramento, and trying to work through issues of pride, identity, reputation, control, and jealousy (doesn't that sound fun?!) and you'll understand why I've been a wee bit tired lately.

Overall though, the transition has gone really smoothly so far.  Most days have been a-ok, but there have been a few that have been harder for me (emotionally) than others.  Today was one of the harder days.  The board and staff of The GreenHouse left today for their retreat up in Lake Tahoe.  It's really, really weird for me to not be going with them.

I have full confidence in our team and their ability to connect, learn, and plan really well this weekend.  Still, it's hard to not be there with them.   

In an effort to keep myself from working on GreenHouse stuff for too long today (I'm supposed to be tapering off, but I really don't know how to stop working!) and to try to get my mind off the retreat, I forced myself into my car this afternoon at around 2:00, one hour before I needed to pick the boys up from school.  I had no idea where I was going.  I just knew that I needed to get out and do some form of self-care (ie: not cleaning my house or sitting at a computer).  I started to drive one way and then the next and eventually ended up at Mills College, a beautiful oasis not far from my house.  I figured I'd take a quick walk around the campus and try to clear my head. 

As soon as I got out of the car, I saw a sign that read, "Come walk our Labyrinth," with an arrow pointing where to go.

Okay!  (Um, God, is that you?  Thanks for being so clear with the sign and the arrow!)   

I walked up a short path and found a lovely chapel with a beautiful little labyrinth just outside.  What a treasure to find!

 
While I walked toward the center of the labyrinth I tried to let go of some of the icky feelings I'd been having today.  When I reached the center of the labyrinth, I paused there for a moment and felt the very gentle breeze that was blowing.  It felt like God was wrapping me up in his arms and giving me a hug, letting me know that I wasn't alone and that everything was going to be alright. 

While walking out of the labyrinth, I focused on being open to the new opportunities that God has waiting for me in my new community.   

I have a feeling I'm going to spent a lot of time in this special spot next month.  (I'm naming May my "Healing Month.")

Later tonight, we had another wonderful and unexpected gift.  The weather was just perfect today in Oakland and I was itching to be outside so we picked up some burritos from our local taqueria and headed-up to the Oakland Hills for a picnic dinner.  The park we planned to go to was closed, so off we went on an adventure to find a new place where we could eat and play.  We found a truly gorgeous spot with a perfect hiking trail.  It was just the fun and adventure I needed tonight with my family. 

Put these three in nature and their imaginations run wild!  They were Explorers fighting off all kinds of bad guys with their swords. 

Here's hoping you are opening your eyes this weekend to the unexpected gifts that are just waiting to be discovered. 

Flu and Other News

After

16 consecutive days of treating at least one child with a fever,

12 combined school absences

4 bottles of children’s ibuprofen consumed, 

3 co-pays at the doctor,
1 prescription for amoxicillin,

loads of packets of Emergen-C consumed by yours truly,

and gobs of stress from trying to balance work and home,  

finally (crossing fingers),
we are all done with the flu.
Ironically, this was the first year we got flu shots for the boys. 
They were NOT-SO-EFFECTIVE for us.   

In other news...

Sorry for the completely vague blog post about Jonah (see previous post).  I got some concerned emails and texts from people wondering if we were okay.  Thank you!  Yes, we are fine.  I just needed to process a really hard day and writing a quick and short blog post seemed like a good way for me to do that.  I’ll try to remember that in addition to this being a place for me to process and record life, it’s also a place for friends and family to stay connected.  Hard to stay connected when you have no idea what I’m writing about, right?

So about that.  Quick version is this:  Jonah had been having many, many unsuccessful days at school for several months.  We had tried everything we could think of to make it better.  We’d given it (his classroom, his teacher) many chances.  But it just wasn’t getting better and we felt that it probably wouldn’t change if he stayed in that situation.  So we made the very hard decision (after many conferences with teacher and principal) that we should switch him to a different class.  I had misread Jonah’s cues and thought he was going to be just fine with switching classrooms.  I was wrong.  It ended up being very hard for him.  He was really, really sad about leaving his teacher and his friends.  I think there was probably some leftover sadness from moving last fall mixed in there, too.  He cried a lot about it, which then made me cry.  Steve and I knew we had made the right decision.  It just was hard for me to see Jonah so upset by it.  I tried to teach Jonah that sometimes in life, we have to go through hard things.  But we shouldn’t be scared of them.  We need to have courage and walk right through the middle of the hard things.  When we are in the middle of the hard things, we can’t see what’s on the other side.  But, we can take comfort in knowing that if we are brave and we keep walking, there is hope just on the other side.  (And by the way, his new class and his new teacher are about 1000 times better.  We are very thankful).   

Some of you may also be wondering about the hiring process at The GreenHouse.  We did in fact offer the ED position to the person I alluded to in an earlier post, and he accepted.  His name is Brian Heller de Leon and he will start April 1^st.  In a word, Brian is wonderful.  He is a very clear answer to prayer.  You always hope that God is going to be clear and that he will answer your prayers.  But you never know, right?  Sometimes you pray and pray and pray and you still don’t know what God is saying.  I’m incredibly thankful that God was clear on this.  My faith has been strengthened so much during this process.  I know that God is REAL because I’ve seen Him at work through this process.  I know that He is LOVING and KIND and GENTLE because He has been all of those things to me.  He has given me just the right amount of time to keep working at the GH after my move so that I’d be more able to let go.  He’s provided a person that I have full confidence in and someone who will be kind and gentle in our interactions.  He’s allowed me to stay on and complete, or nearly complete, a project that I’ve been working on for five years (our Clubhouse renovation).  He knows me and He loves me.  WOW! 

There are still swelling waves of sadness that hit me when I think about leaving The GreenHouse.  But each day, it's getting a little better.  I wrote my farewell letter to our supporters last week (it went out in the mail today) and while it was hard to write, it was another important step in the grieving/healing process.  I now know when my last day at the GH will be (April 24) and when I will get to say my good-byes during some farewell events (May 3 and 5).  All of that helps.  There aren’t as many unknowns anymore. 

There are other things, too, that are making this seem like a particularly full season.  There's Steve's avalanche of work this past month that's keeping him up til the wee hours of the morning for nights on end. There's my work overseeing a major construction project at The GreenHouse (it's pitfalls and successes), fundraising for a capital campaign, and finding time for my regular job duties as well.  And there's the sadness, shock, and confusion surrounding the loss of teenager who held a special place in my heart and who was just way too beautiful, talented, kind, and young to die.

Is this too much for one person to carry?  Yes.  Trust me.  I tried last week to control all the madness in my own strength and I failed miserably.  Was I ever intended to carry the load?  No.  That's why God created community.  Right on time, community has stepped in to help carry the load, send an encouraging email or text, pray for our family, remind me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus when I've lost my way.     

Thanks for being part of our community.  We're especially thankful for you during the ups and downs of this season of change.   

Big, Big Day

In the morning, I'll be making my weekly trek up to Sacramento to work at The GreenHouse.  As usual, it will be a really long day, jam-packed with meetings and zooming from one thing to the next.  By tomorrow night I'll be wiped out, driving back to Oakland with an empty stomach from having skipped a meal or two, yet with a very full heart from time spent with my loved ones.

While it seems like all of my days up there lately are "big days," tomorrow seems like it will be a particularly big, big day.

See, tomorrow night is our monthly board meeting.  And at that meeting, our Executive Director Search Committee is going to make a recommendation to move forward on a candidate for my position (a candidate that we all really love). 

Of course, we still have to vote tomorrow night.  And then make an offer.  And then that person needs to decide whether or not to accept.   So, I may be jumping the gun. 

But I sense that my time as Executive Director of the GreenHouse is nearly up.

And while I am doing so.much.better with all of this than I was one year ago, six months ago, two months ago, I can still feel them.  The tears.  They are right there.  I can feel them welling up even as I type this.

They were there earlier today, too, while typing an email to someone on our staff about something totally unrelated.  They sneak up on me at unexpected times.

So while I am filled with the peace and grace of Jesus throughout this process, I am also aware that the grieving has only just begun.

I would appreciate your prayers tomorrow and in the coming weeks and months.
XOXO 

December Was...

YiaYia's birthday lunch & snuggles with our cousin

Steve's work party in SF - a date night with dressing up!

Celebrating a very special friend with pedis and great conversation

Selecting just the right tree..

...from the oh-so-scenic Home Depot

Serving alongside women I love at the Melvin's Hope Christmas Store

Acting out the story of Christ's birth, as a donkey....

...and wise kings

Singing shoulder-to-shoulder with diverse groups of people at The GreenHouse

Relaxing in the evenings by our pretty tree

 Taking care of the class pet over the break (Jake the White Tree Frog)

Christmas Eve service at First Pres Berkeley with Grandpa

Opening matching jammies on Christmas Eve






Poses with favorite gifts
 (a stuffed penguin?! this from the kid who last year wanted a talking parrot and a "shaking-booty santa")

A trip to the Zoo with friends

Building new LEGO sets

Feeling proud of completed projects

Giving away $30,000 worth of UGG boots to the cutest kids on the planet

What a lot of fun we had!    

The GreenHouse's December Letter

All of my brain waves for the last few weeks went towards writing the letter below.  On the off chance that someone who reads this blog is not on The GreenHouse mailing list, I thought I'd post it here.  The letter gives a nice recap of all that went on this past year at The GreenHouse (which holy cow, is a lot!).

It is, of course, also a fundraising letter.  So if you are inclined, please feel free to give generously to The GreenHouse.  We need to raise $35,000 by the end of December to break even for 2012.  Not a small task!  But if there's one thing I've learned through The GreenHouse it's this: miracles do still happen.

(P. S. This online version of the letter has fun bonus features.  See below for links to blog posts that I had written this past year about the events mentioned in the letter).  

Dear Friends,

What a tremendous year it's been at The GreenHouse! It is so good for us to look back over the past year, reflect on all the miracles that have occurred, and give God all the glory for his unfailing love and faithfulness. I hope that as you read about some of this year’s highs and lows, you will be inspired! And, I hope that you will prayerfully consider making a donation to The GreenHouse. Giving is a tangible way to celebrate the accomplishments of the past year and to support the positive transformation that will occur in the coming year.

Here’s a look back at some of the miracles we experienced throughout 2012:

In January, we learned that one of the most active families at The GreenHouse was in crisis, facing eviction with nowhere to go. Their only option was an emergency shelter which would split-up the family. Our staff and a handful of supporters began to earnestly pray. That’s when our first miracle of the year came. The very next day the family’s debt was paid and the eviction was stopped! Compelled to share their own possessions with the family in need, a couple generously stepped forward to bring relief to this family, radically impacting the trajectory of their lives. The family of seven is now making their rent each month and is still very involved at The GreenHouse.  

(Bonus! Read more here)

In February, pure EXCITEMENT: the Oasis Games with the Sacramento Waldorf School. That week we “played to change the world,” empowering and equipping youth to make the changes in their community that they wanted to see happen. And then we stepped back and watched them lead. Graffiti-filled fences were torn down, trash-ridden pathways were cleaned up and leveled, vegetable gardens and new relationships were planted, lives were changed. We witnessed the Kingdom of God breaking through and being lived out in surprising new ways. 

(Bonus!  Read more here)

In March, a break-in at our old facility caused damage to the property. We saw this as an opportunity to positively impact the lives of the youth who were involved with the break-in. We spent weeks meeting with them and their parents to work towards a positive solution. We disciplined with love and grace and we extended forgiveness, the same forgiveness that Jesus offers us all. In the end, the stolen property was returned and the young people involved in the incident came to a work-day to help us clean-up. Later, they were invited to join our program. 

(Bonus!  Read more here)

In April, we put on Awesome Bible Camp (ABC) with a church down the street. It was a week of sharing the good news of Jesus Christ while using the strengths of the community.  What a fun week that was! April was also the month when our hearts broke for a few teens who seemed to be doing so well, but then suddenly made turns for the worse, ran away from home, or stopped coming around The GreenHouse. We continue to pray for them. 

(Bonus!  Well, sort of.  April was right about the time I stopped blogging on a regular basis.  I did however post pictures of Awesome Bible Camp on my facebook page!  Same could be said for May, June, and July - pictures and posts on facebook of the things below). 

In May, after five long years of praying and waiting, we rejoiced over the signing of a lease agreement with the owners of the old “Clubhouse,” allowing us to make the necessary repairs to the facility and move back in! The signing of the lease perfectly coincided with the amazing news that NARI, an association of professional remodelers, had agreed to take on our project as community service. We will begin the remodel in early 2013 and when it is finished, we will not only have a beautiful and safe youth center, but we will also more than double our current space.

In June, we hosted our annual Kids at Heart event and celebrated all that God had done in the lives of our youth, volunteers, partners, and donors over the past year. We humbly received generous donations from supporters who have been faithfully giving for the past ten years, as well as new donors who learned about The GreenHouse for the first time. Through sponsorships, auction donations, ticket sales, and general donations, we raised $42,000 - a third of our annual budget.

In July, our summer day camps were going strong, filling hungry bellies with nutritionally balanced meals, and filling hungry minds with enriching field trips and educational activities to combat Summer Learning Loss. Throughout the summer, we learned more about Jesus’ love not only through skits and Bible memorization, but also through sharing life together. We ran, jumped, swam, sang, and created new projects. We cared for skinned knees, bruised hearts and troubled minds with band-aids, hugs and prayer. We also met a new family with urgent needs for clothing, shoes, furniture, beds, lighting, and essential toiletries - another opportunity for us to express God’s love tangibly! And July was the month that we sent twelve teens on a life-altering weekend of spiritual growth at Jenness Park Christian Camp.

In August, we alerted the Sacramento Police Department to a business owner in our community who was taking advantage of teenage girls. We collaborated with the detectives and walked alongside the incredibly brave young women who came forward to share their stories. We all breathed a sigh of relief when we learned that the perpetrator had been arrested. August was also the culmination of a documentary project created by our teens in collaboration with the Sacramento Public Library. "Preserving our Present" is a collection of video interviews, photos, and teen stories documenting the history of the Gardenland/Northgate neighborhood. Check out their work at www.preservingourpresent.org.  

(Bonus!  Read more here)

In September, our after-school programs kicked off like a well-oiled machine. We recruited faithful and hardworking Study Buddies to work with our students on homework, reading, math, and vocabulary. We implemented a new reading curriculum and inspired creative expression through music, art, cooking, gardening, and science workshops. We listened to, cared for, and believed in each one of our youth – checking grades and giving high-fives for jobs well done.

In October, we offered a special opportunity for community connection with our 12th Annual Harvest Carnival at Niños Park. The whole neighborhood came out for this beloved tradition and enjoyed the pumpkin patch, carnival games, gently used clothing, and more.  

(Bonus! Read more about this here)

In November, $2500 worth of food was donated by churches, pre-schools, and other community organizations for our Thankful Hearts Food Store. Forty-eight families shopped in the store for turkeys, pies, and all the fixings for traditional holiday meal. The families who shopped in the store gave a $5 donation towards Hurricane Sandy relief in exchange for the food they received. Together they raised $200 to help our neighbors on the east coast! 

 (Bonus!  See pics here)

What will December bring? We'll sing Christmas carols, build gingerbread houses, exchange gifts, and anticipate more miracles. We are trusting God to provide 800 new toys for our Melvin’s Hope Christmas Toy Store. He’s already provided 300 pairs of new shoes for the youth of our community through a generous donation from Deckers. We can’t wait to pass those out! We are also trusting God to provide for our financial needs as we close out the year.

For all of that and more, we want to say, “Thank you!” Your gifts to The GreenHouse have been radically changing lives for the past ten years. Your prayers and financial support are a vital part of the work God is doing through all of us at The GreenHouse.

We need your support right now more than ever! Will you consider making a special end-of-the year gift in honor of all that God has done in 2012? Will you also consider becoming a monthly donor of The GreenHouse so that together, we can continue to make a powerful impact with our community?

The new year will bring with it some exciting things at The GreenHouse. First up will be the renovation of the Clubhouse. This is such an exciting project and we hope you will join in on this amazing opportunity to partner with the youth, parents, churches, professional remodelers, and community partners who are making this dream come true. More on that to come through our e-newsletters and facebook updates. Stay tuned!

Second, many of you know that a job opportunity for my husband recently moved our family to Oakland. While it has been incredibly hard for us to leave Sacramento, we have felt God’s loving-kindness, grace, and provisions covering both our family and The GreenHouse throughout this time of transition. Since August I have been working remotely from Oakland and commuting up to Sacramento once or twice a week while our Board of Directors searches for new, local Executive Director. The search team is doing an amazing job and we are all of one accord – on our knees – trusting God to provide the right new leader for The GreenHouse at just the right time. Join us in praying about this! In the meantime, know that the GreenHouse is in very capable hands and is continuing to run strong now and in the future!  (Bonus!  Read more here and a few other places). 

Thank you again for your faithful support. Merry Christmas!

Twelve Years

I'm the first to admit that I do not love event planning or the tremendous amount of energy and effort that is required to pull something off like The GreenHouse's Annual Harvest Carnival at Ninos Park.  But I cannot deny that the Carnival has burrowed its way into my heart over the years.  Being at our 12th Annual Harvest Carnival on Saturday filled my heart with big scoops of satisfaction.  

Three years ago, I was so "over" event planning that I tried to kill the Harvest Carnival altogether!  I'm so glad that Monica (second from right below) raised her voice at a Board meeting when we were discussing the future of the Carnival and gave us the perspective that I needed to hear.  As a parent of two GreenHouse youth and a long-time member of the community, she pleaded with us to keep the Carnival going.  She reminded us that she and her family had been coming since the very beginning.  Some of her favorite pictures of her daughters were taken at the Carnival when they were younger.  She shared that the Carnival was one of the only traditions they had in their neighborhood and that it was the only time of the whole year when neighbors come outside and spend time together.   Her perspective gave us the wind we needed in our sails to keep the Carnival going!

I love this family so much.  Johanna (far left) and Lupita (third from left) have been coming to the Carnival since they were 4 and 3.  They are now 16 and 15!  Their mom, Monica, is a Parent Advisor to our Board of Directors.  Also in the photo are Monica's sister Blanca and (most) of her family and Monica and Blanca's mother.  They are Harvest Carnival fixtures for sure!

Quick history lesson...Did you know that the Harvest Carnival is actually older than The GreenHouse?  Before The GreenHouse was a 501c3 nonprofit corporation, even before it was a vision/dream/idea/calling, there was "The Ninos Park Ministry" of Sanctuary Covenant Church.  Responding to an article in the Sacramento Bee about the high number of children living in the low-income apartments across from Ninos Park, a group of us from church started going to this neighborhood every third Saturday to put on Play Days at the Park.  The Play Days included Bible Stories, crafts, snacks, games, singing, and a whole lot of relationship-building.  In addition, every quarter we'd host a "Family Fun Day" in the park, which was sort of a pumped up version of the Play Days and typically included a BBQ and a Bounce House.  For the October Family Fun Day, it seemed natural to call it a "Harvest Carnival."  All of the volunteers dressed in costume and we played a few extra games.  A few years later we added a pumpkin patch, and the rest is history!  

With all of the changes that have occurred at The GreenHouse over the years, The Harvest Carnival is the one thing that has remained the same.  I think that makes it pretty special!    

Tiffany and her family are also Harvest Carnival fixtures who have been coming for 12 years.

I've got lots of special Harvest Carnival memories with this friend here.  Back in the early days of the Carnival, we'd all dress-up in costumes and the kids would vote for their favorite costume (by applause).  Rose won every year!
(Now we all just dress as farmers).

These boys have been coming to the Carnival since before they could walk!  I hope it becomes as special a memory for them as it is for me.

I have no idea if this will be my last Harvest Carnival or if it will be just another one of many more to come. I had expected to be handing off the reigns of The GreenHouse to someone else by now.  The Harvest Carnival seemed like it would have been a fitting time for me to say my farewells.  But, that certainly was not the case.  It's almost November, and here I am, still very much working for The GreenHouse.  Still loving this community.  Still longing to see God's Spirit ignite a forest fire that cannot be contained in the hearts of the youth.   Still waiting for Him to reveal His plan for future of The GreenHouse. 

In the meantime, I am thanking Him for the ability to work remotely and the new found peace, clarity, and efficiency that it affords me.  If you think of The GreenHouse, please pray for wisdom and direction for our Board as we continue our search for a new Executive Director.    Pray also for our staff as they have had to adjust to working more independently, with me only in the office once a week.      

To anyone who is reading this that volunteered for The Carnival - you are my hero.  Honestly, I am continually amazed and humbled at the selfless sacrifices that go into blessing the Ninos Park community through the Carnival.  From picking pumpkins in a field the night before, to baking cupcakes for the cupcake walk, from face painting, to supervising the bounce house.  It all is a tremendous blessing.  I hope you know that your contribution is a significant link in chain of love that is now twelve-years long. 

The Feel Good Day

Are you familiar with this book?

When the boys were little it was one of our favorite books to read.  Each page has a different thing that "feels good."  Giving a great, big hug feels good.  Watching your grandparents dance feels good.  And so on.  Super cute.

Here's my own version of The Feel Good Book, based on my day yesterday.  I'm calling it The Feel Good Day:

1.  Having Brayan pray for you feels good.
Yesterday at our staff meeting, Brayan prayed for me.  Brayan is a man of few words, but when he prays, it's one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard.  He prays directly from the center of his kind and deep heart.  During his prayer, he thanked God for me and said that I was "like a mother" to him.  That felt really, really good.  I love him a whole bunch.

2.  Fighting for innocent teens girls in my neighborhood who are being victimized and finding out that the police were able to arrest the perpetrator feels good. 
Yesterday I got this email from the Captain of the Sac PD.   
 I want to thank you for bringing this situation to my attention. I feel certain that his victimization of these youths would have continued and that his behavior would have continued to be more extreme. We will never know what was prevented by this intervention.
 
3.  Watching teens from The GreenHouse present a project that they've been working on for the past 6 months to a packed house at the Library feels good.
They did a tremendous job showcasing some of the photos, video interviews, and essays they've created for the "Preserving our Present" project.  PLEASE, take a minute to check out the blog they've created www.preservingourpresent.org. And then be sure to follow the blog over the coming weeks as it will be updated weekly with more personal essays from the teens and photos that they've taken of our neighborhood.  If you only have time to read one post, read this one http://preservingourpresent.org/day/2012/07/20.  It will move you in a feel-good way. 

4.  Collaborating with an awesome community partner feels good. 
This is the manager of our local library.  Last year, she wrote the grant that allowed our youth to have the unique opportunity to document the history of our neighborhood while voicing their own opinions and feelings about the community.  She worked incredibly hard on the project and stuck with our youth, through thick and thin, to create an incredible finished project.  In the process, she feel in love with our youth and they feel in love with her.  And I gained a new friend.  

5.  Having the Vice Mayor of Sacramento say really nice words about you in public and later having her post more kind words on your facebook wall feels really, really good.  I heart Angelique Ashby.  She's rad. 

Now...if only moving felt good.

Right now, it feels not-good.  I can't tell which is harder - the physical exhaustion or the mental exhaustion involved in moving.  Needless to say, I'm kind of a big stress-ball these days.  But, thankful for the totally excellent day I had at work yesterday.  It was a much-needed reprieve from the craziness at home.
 

Good-bye Day

• Reading a hurtful email from a crazy man first thing in the morning and then spending most of the day processing the horribleness of the email

• Seeing the thrashed aftermath of a burglary at The GreenHouse and filing a police report

• Viewing surveillance videos to determine who stole a volunteer's bike yesterday afternoon (unrelated to the burglary)

• Sobbing while sharing difficult news at our staff meeting

• Hearing a youth recount a story of injustice against him and the police who did not believe him (unrelated to the burglary or the stolen bike)

These are just a few of the things that made for a very, very hard day today.

• An unexpected note of encouragement in today's mail

• A donation from an unlikely donor

• A pizza delivered by someone who heard we were having a hard day and was praying for us

• Caramel cake

• Homemade ceviche brought to us from another person who heard we were having a hard day

• An opportunity to build a new relationship with someone who's lived in the community for 20 years

• A time of prayer and focusing on Prov. 3:5-6 and Phil. 4:5-7

• Knowing that tomorrow would be a new day 

These are a few of the things that helped me to know that everything would be alright.

The Ultimate Kingdom Playground

Last week's Oasis Games at The GreenHouse were well...amazing.  In my ten years of doing ministry in this community, they were perhaps the most exciting project I've ever been a part of.

I've tried several times to sit down and write about the week and all that occurred but I'm finding it very hard to encapsulate all that transpired.

Rather than torturing my tired brain and trying to put my thoughts into cohesive sentences, I thought I'd just write some words that represent what the week was like for us at The GreenHouse.

Kingdom Playground

Justice

Empowerment

Relationships

Collaboration

Reconciliation

Bottom-up Leadership

Listening to the Community

Redistribution

Dreams Coming True
Fast, Fun, and Free

Miracles

Respect
Hard-Work
Dancing
Generosity
Faith
Hope
Love

Model for Future Partnerships
Opportunities to Share my Faith

There is so much more I could say.  The week was SO much more than just that one week.  It was a dream ONE-YEAR in the making and new friendships (with Waldorf) SIX-MONTHS in the making. 

So many times, groups (churches, organizations) want to come to The GreenHouse for a one-day event and then be gone.  Those experiences are terrific for the group doing the project, but they are typically more event-focused than relationship-focused and they are not always what's best of the community.  This was so much different than that.  The Waldorf teachers and students got it.  They loved, listened, respected, and befriended our community so well.  Our friendship with them has just begun.  They can't wait to come back (in fact, they are coming back next week to debrief!).  They have been radically impacted (as have we). 
     
This guy here was the hero last week.  Chopping down trees, building fences, painting murals, calling all the shots.  Truly remarkable.  Can't thank God enough for putting him in my life.  

For those who missed the media coverage we got, here are a few links.  Always fun to get some press, especially for the youth!

A news clip about the project on KCRA-3.

A Sacramento Bee article about the project.
The Sacramento Bee photo gallery.
Facebook photo page

Yes, that's Jonah in the Sac Bee photo gallery "looking for lava" in the hole he dug.  No, he's not a first grader at Sacramento Waldorf, like the caption says! 

You can also check out the Oasis Games 2012 facebook group to read some of the cool comments that both GreenHouse and Waldorf students have written about the experience.  And while you're at it, "Like" The GreenHouse's page! (Yes, I'm a facebooker now). 

 

One last link...The GreenHouse newsletter that went out today with a brief summary of last week:  http://ymlp.com/z5etEX