14 Years and Counting

On June 21st, Steve and I celebrated 14 years of marriage.  There was not a whole lot of hoopla to celebrate the actual anniversary but thanks to the very generous heart of a good friend, Steve and I got to go out for dinner and a movie last night while she watched our kids.   It was so nice to have some real conversations over dinner.  As we do every year on our anniversary, we asked one another this question: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our marriage right now and why?"  It always stimulates a good discussion and thankfully, we are always within one point of each other's score (When things are going well...we both know. And when things need to improve...we both know!).    

This year, I gave us a 6.  Steve gave us a 5.  These numbers did not surprise either one of us.  Our main complaints: no time with one another and no fun in our lives.  The past three years have been hard.  Sometimes it feels like we are walking through fire.  Our days are very long and filled with lots of hard work, lots of studying, and lots of attending to the needs of demanding children.  There are many days when Steve and I only get to spend a few minutes talking to one another before we are on to the next thing (or collapsed and asleep).

We know this is only a season (which is coming to an end in about a month - thank goodness).  But we also know that when studying for the Bar is OVER, we have some work to do to invest in one another and get those numbers back up.  

On the positive side, we still love each other!  And we still like each other!  And even though it feels like are walking through fire at times, we know that we will walk out the other end alive (and together).

For a little fun, here's a look back at three of the major things that have shaped our marriage over the past 14 years.  If we can survive the band (paradigm) and all the traveling/nuttiness that went along with that, having twins while also caring for a highly spirited two-year-old, and navigating the insanity of law school with three young kids, is there any mountain that we can't climb together?

P.S.  Pray for us!  We know that Year 15 will bring some relief in terms of time with one another, but we already know that it will also have its challenges (as we grieve a divorce in our extended family, seek a job for Steve, start to pay down some of our school loans/debt, and continue to learn how to parent and make good choices for our family in this community...).  We know God is big enough to handle all of that - and more - but we need to fix our eyes on Him, who is the very source of our love for one another.  Thanks for being part of our journey!