Friends: Old and New

Today I was missing Sacramento friends.  Having been at The Harvest Carnival at Ninos Park for the last twelve consecutive years, it felt really strange to be missing the thirteenth installment of that special event today.

Had I not just been at The GreenHouse on Thursday, delivering some donated couches for the new Clubhouse, I probably would have been there today.  But, it was too much for me to do that drive again today.  And actually, I'm thinking that it all worked out the way it was supposed to:  Me with my family in my new town, continuing to plant roots here and nurture new relationships;  The GreenHouse, growing strong on its own, developing new routines, carrying on community traditions.  (Though, I'm not gonna lie. It was hard for me to not be there today.  I would have loved to have said hello to all of the parents and given squeezes to all of the kids.).   

In spite of some sadness over missing friends from The GreenHouse today, I was moved with gratitude for the new friendships that are being formed here in Oakland.  One very special friendship that is growing is between Riley and his buddy from school Jaelyn.  They both love each other to pieces.   We caught them sharing a chair, arms around each other, after their soccer game today.  Sneaky Nicolas photo-bombed the picture, but I still love it and all that it says about how far we've come this past year. 

 
They couldn't have known how much my heart needed this moment today! 

Gandalf vs. King

Jonah's has a new obsession: stop animation.  Hours of creativity, story writing, set designing, and self-entertainment make this App the best 99 cents I ever spent!   

Here's a sample of one of his latest creations.  It's called "Gandalf vs. King: Fight at the Casel."  Love the spelling.  This short clip (it's only 12 seconds long) is made up 57 different pics that he took with my iphone.  Pretty cool!  Can't wait to see the creations that come from this new hobby.    

We're All in the Same Boat

"For 75 years, Finland's expectant mothers have been given a box by the state. It's like a starter kit of clothes, sheets and toys that can even be used as a bed. And some say it helped Finland achieve one of the world's lowest infant mortality rates. It's a tradition that dates back to the 1930s and it's designed to give all children in Finland, no matter what background they're from, an equal start in life. The maternity package - a gift from the government - is available to all expectant mothers." 

Continue reading the rest of this fascinating article here.       

There are so many reasons to love this article and the concept of giving out baby boxes to an entire country.  But, this quote from an expectant father hits the nail on the head for me,

"It strengthens that feeling that we are all in this together."

Giving the box out to all families, regardless of their background says something very important.  It says, as my friend David Lindner often declares: we're all in the same boat.  You and me.  We may not look the same.  We may not be from the same race, culture, socio-economic status, or neighborhood.  But parenthood instantly unites us.  We are both filled with hopes, dreams, doubts, fears, and an incredible amount of love for our children.   Both of our children are worthy of an equal start in life (how comforting and encouraging!).   

This is radical thinking for those of us in the US!  Most of the time, we do just the opposite of this: we give the box (metaphorically speaking) to just some of the families.  We draw lines in the sand.  Us and them.  They need the box.  I do not.  And since I do not need the box, I am better.  More powerful.  Above them.  And so I grow up feeling empowered, believing that my voice matters, that I can do anything I set my mind do.  They grow up feeling like they were the ones who needed the box.  (You could also flip this around to say...We draw lines in the sand.  Us and them.  I deserve the box so I get to have the box.  They don't deserve the box so they don't get one.  The box is just one more advantage in life that will help me achieve my dreams.  They grow up wondering why they never got to have a box). 

P.S. The "box" in the paragraph above isn't anything specific.  But, it could be a million different little things that pop up in our daily lives.

It is a passion and pursuit of mine to be more like Finland in my daily interactions.  At The GreenHouse, we call it Empowerment or Asset Based Community Development, but I think that calling it Finland works, too!   

One specific way I'm currently pursuing this mindset is through my new volunteer role as Classroom Coordinator for both of my kids classrooms.  My mantra for the year with regard to facilitating parent involvement: Everyone is valuable, everyone is needed, everyone has something to offer.  

As I seek to set up systems that invite, rather than exclude, I am starting to see some glimpses of Finland in our classrooms.  It's exciting to see parent involvement going way up as compared to last year.  Kids whose parents have never been involved before are now getting the pride and joy of knowing that their family is the one providing snacks for the class or donating supplies or having their voice heard.  

Imagine a school, a community, a nation where we all had "that feeling that we are all in this together."