GreenHouse Summer Highlights #4

GreenHouse Summer Hightlights #4: Developing a heart for a special little boy, though not the one I expected.

This summer, I was really looking forward to spending some face-to-face time with the kids. As The GreenHouse grows and we add more and more programs, my job becomes increasingly more administrative and I'm not able to work directly with the kids like I used to. I know that this is a necessary role for me, but working in an office all day doesn't always feed my soul or renew my sense of calling. So I took advantage of some of the extra staff we had this summer and committed to spending one morning a week with the kids in our elementary Day Camp.

I was all set to spend the summer pouring into a particular little boy, "P." I had developed a soft spot in my heart for P over the last year and couldn't wait to spend quality time with him this summer as his small group leader.


Enter: heartache. On the last day of school, we heard rumblings that P's grandmother, who he lives with because his mom and dad are in jail, was moving the family to Stockton. Deeply saddened, our staff of 3 walked over to the apartment to say our goodbyes to the 5 boys (cousins) who we had all come to love over the past five years. There were tears and hugs and reminders of God's great love for them and His plan for their future. And then they were gone.

Day Camp started the following week and I had a bit of a pity party. It wasn't how I had pictured it. I had to change my expectations.

On the fourth week of day camp, a boy named "J" was having a really hard day. He refused to participate in any of the activities and sat off by himself for most of the morning, despite our repeated attempts to get him to join the group. After giving him a final warning, and him still not responding, I told J that I would have to give him a "zero" for the day and walk him home early.


As we walked back to his apartment, I noticed that he was playing with a cell phone. When I asked him about it, he told me that his dad had given it to him two days before - as his dad was moving out to go live with his new girlfriend.

Enter: compassion. I no longer saw an obstinate child who refused to participate. I saw a heart-broken little boy who was internalizing a myriad of emotions - abandonment, anger, fear, sadness. I also knew that his father's departure meant that J and his siblings were essentially on their own now. J's mom has diabetes and over the last year, her health has been rapidly declining. She is bed-ridden, dependent on dialysis, and nearly blind. With no father, and a very ill mother, the 5kids in this household (teenage boy, teenage girl with a one-year old son of her own, school aged J, and preschool aged boy) were left to fend for themselves.

When we arrived at J's apartment, we found his mom laying in the hospital bed that sits in the middle of their living room. With tears in her eyes, she confirmed that J's father had indeed left them. Pastor Dave, who "just happened" to come with me to walk J home, offered to pray for her and her children and she gladly accepted. As we circled around her bed to pray for this hurting family, a thousand thoughts ran through my mind. Who will get these kids washed up and ready for bed at night? Who will tuck them in? Who will wake them up in time for school? Who will make their dinner and shop for their food?

For the rest of the summer, our staff saw J in a new light. We knew that on field trip days, someone would need to go knock on his door to make sure he was up and ready to go. We knew that he probably wouldn't have the $1 that we require for our field trips..and that was okay. We knew that if he got one-on-one attention from a caring adult each day while he was at The GreenHouse, it would have an enormous impact on his emotional well-being.

A few days after my home visit with J and his family, I shared his story with my Bible Study. We prayed for J, along with our other prayer requests for the week, and when we finished, I noticed that one of my sisters was crying. I asked her why she was crying. She replied, "I'm crying for J." What an expression of love, that she would cry for this child who is not her own!

Ironically, the next day I happened to thumb through a children's poetry book at Barnes and Noble that had caught my eye, "Hip Hop Speaks to Children." I stopped to read a poem by Antwone Fisher titled, "Who Will Cry?" The first stanza read:

Who will cry for the little boy? Lost and all alone.
Who will cry for the little boy? Abandoned without his own.

I thought back to our time of prayer the night before and praised God for this special sister of mine who cried for little J.

Here We Go Again....

Steve started Year Two of Law School yesterday. This year, he'll be at UC Davis School of Law (Go Ags!). So far, so good. We are both a lot less anxious this year and better prepared for the road ahead of us. Steve has early morning classes this semester - so that means I'm on my own every morning for getting everyone up, diapered, dressed, fed, and out the door on time (oh - and myself showered and clothed...don't expect me to look glamorous!). Prayers for patience, balance, and perspective over the next 9 months are much appreciated.

One thing that will be different this school year - no TV in our home. We canceled our cable a few weeks ago and haven't really missed it since (except the last 2 Saturdays when Steve has REALLY wanted to watch a baseball game while eating his lunch). We are still able to watch DVDs, but our "screen time" has become a lot more intentional and less frequent. I'm once again watching the Second Season of The West Wing. Is there any better TV??. It is soooo good! And, Steve just got me a few seasons of Gilmore Girls for my birthday. I was a hit-and-miss Gilmore Girls fan when it aired, so it'll be fun to see all the episodes I missed early on. Anyone else have any suggestions of DVDs for me to rent and watch while Steve is studying into the wee hours of the night?

Oh - and one other bonus of not having cable - with the money we are saving each month on our bills, me, Jonah, Nico, and Riley joined a gym. Yay! Exercise (and a break) for me. Fun activities and play time for the kids. Extra study time for Steve. Win-Win-Win.

GreenHouse Summer Highlights #3

GreenHouse Summer Highlights #3: Fun with the SF Giants

In July, we took 29 GreenHouse teens and 6 adults to a SF Giants game, thanks to Giants outfielder Randy Winn who is an old friend of mine from high school. Not only did Randy make sure we got plenty of tickets to the game (and another game...see below), but he also invited us all to go down onto the field before the game to meet with him, ask questions, and watch a little batting practice. It was so fun and the teens loved all of the special treatment they got that day. When we arrived at the stadium, they each got goodie bags with Giants baseball caps and baseball cards before being escorted down onto the field. During the seventh inning stretch, they even got a special scoreboard message, "Randy Winn welcomes The GreenHouse." The girls all went crazy screaming. This was the first time any of the teens had been to a professional baseball game - and it sure was a memorable one for them. I love giving them "firsts."


Then, on August 1st, we got to go for a second game - this time with our Board of Directors, Staff, and their families. It was so nice to be together and have a little fun. When the game was over, we didn't want to leave! Well, mostly that's because we missed the first few innings because of horrible traffic and because two of the best pitchers in the league were going against each other that night, making it a much-too-quick game. But, it was a beautiful night in an awesome stadium with a terrific view of the ocean. Can you blame us for lingering well past our kids' bed times?

GreenHouse Summer Highlights #2

GreenHouse Summer Highlight #2: A long car ride with Monica (and dipping our feet in the ocean!)

Each summer, we offer our 7th, 8th, and 9th graders an opportunity to go to a week of summer camp in the Santa Cruz Mountains. I personally loved camp as a child and teenager and know the immense impact it had on my relationship with God. So, it always gives me great pleasure to do whatever I can to get some of our GreenHouse youth to camp. This is typically quite a process that involves weeks and weeks of convincing kids that they will LOVE camp, calming the fears of parents whose kids have never been away from them for a night, helping parents fill out registration forms, home visits to calm fears, home visits to calm fears, and more home visits to calm fears, dealing with disppointment and frustration when kids drop out at the last minute because they are just too scared, and then finally, driving the few and the brave to camp.

This summer, I was all set to drive Lupita, Andrea, and Karla to camp, when it dawned on me...why not invite Lupita's mom, Monica, to come along with me for the drive? That way, she could see where her daughter would be for the week and have the opportunity to see her off. Plus, it would be great for me to have a buddy in the car on the loooong drive to Santa Cruz AND it would give us a chance to spend some quality time with one another. To my delight, she was free - and really excited about going with me. So, off we went! The trip went a little something like this: Driving - talking - stopping in traffic - more talking - more driving - more traffic - finally arriving at the camp - girls freaking out - wanting to leave - processing the fact that they are the only non-Caucasian kids at camp - Monica so proud, so thankful for the opportunity for her daughter - calming fears - saying goodbye to the girls - Monica and I spontaneously driving down to the ocean before heading back - walking on the beach - putting our feet in the water - more talking - so thankful for this moment - back up to the car - stopping for yummy Mexican food for dinner - more talking - more driving - more traffic - more talking - more driving - home at last - exhausted.

Little did I know when I invited Monica to come with me that those 10 hours spent with her would have a profound impact on me. I have spent quite a bit of time with Monica over the past eight years, watching her kids grow up at The GreenHouse and sharing our life experiences with one another. And overtime, we've kindled a wonderful friendship. But, there was something about the time we spent together in the car that took our relationship to the next level. We talked openly about family and immigration and culture and suffering and education and poverty and God. I was able to openly share with her the reason for my Hope.

I came home exhausted (and forever changed) from all I had heard and learned about her life. It was almost too much for me to take in. Her life story is so vastly different than mine. It is difficult to be her. She faces challenges on a daily basis that I will never have to face. Yet, she inspires me. Her courage, strength, and tenacity are fierce. It is a privilege to call her my friend.

GreenHouse Summer Highlights #1

Summers at The GreenHouse are typically gruelling and filled with trials (episodes of youth violence, out-of-control behavior issues, extreme heat, increased crime). But this summer was different. This summer, there was a general sense of calm over the neighborhood, kids eagerly participated in the day camp activities with positive attitudes, there was less fighting, and we had some nice, mild weather - which always helps. And to top it all off, we had a phenomenal number of opportunites for our youth, thanks to our awesome summer staff, volunteers, donors, and collaborators. As I look back on all that God did this summer, I am completely humbled and grateful.

In a series of posts, I'll share some of my personal highlights of the summer, one at at time, in no particular order.

Summer Highlight #1: The LIT (Leaders in Training) Summer Projects, and in particular, overseeing Johanna's "Caring is Sharing" project.

This summer, our LIT teens were given the opportunity to "apply" for a "mini-grant" from The GreenHouse to fund a service project that they would plan, develop, and implement from start to finish. One of the LIT members, Johanna, chose to provide toys for kids in the hospital - to make them smile. She wrote up a proposal, formulated a budget, and went through an interview process before being assigned to a GH staff person to help her oversee the final phase of the project - implementation. I had the privilege of supervising this particular project.

About half-way through the project, Johanna got an unexpected boost. After reading about Johanna's project in a GreenHouse newsletter, Kristina from Sanctuary Covenant Church, was moved to organized a women's lunch to raise money for the project. To Johanna's (and everyone else's) delight, that lunch raised $465 dollars! What fun we had going shopping together after the lunch and spending all of the money on toys. We filled three shopping carts with all kinds of games, books, and toys for babies, school-aged kids, and teens. Two days later, we delivered the toys to the Play Room at Sutter Memorial Hospital, making many kids very happy.

Overall, it was an great learning experience for Johanna. She gained self-esteem, confidence in her ability to lead, more compassion for children who are sick, and a vision for her future. Can't wait to see what she does next summer!

Happy Birthday Steve!

Happy Birthday Steve!

You are an amazing gift to us - and to so many others. We love you, K, J, N, and R

Neighborhood Fun

This past week, we spent two very fun nights with our neighbors. On Tuesday night, we gathered out on our street for a "National Night Out" Block Party. National Night Out is intended to be a say-no-to-crime event, but to me, it just sounded like a GREAT excuse to have a block party and spend time with our neighbors! Plus, if you organize a block party on National Night Out, the City of Sac will waive the permit fee for closing your street...so, that's what we did. We blocked off our street, brought out a few BBQs, feasted on a potluck of delicious food, and had plenty of fun things for the kids to do.

It was fun to see everyone get excited for the event and contribute their gifts and talents. Several of the neighborhood kids helped me canvass the street in the weeks before the event, collecting the signatures we needed to get our City Permit. Other kids made Block Party signs to use as decorations. One man down the street, who is handy with tools, offered to build a barricade to close off the street. Another woman offered to do face-painting for the kids. Yet another brought henna and did henna creations for the women and girls (see picture of my ankle below). And, the most amazing part - 53 of our neighbors came out for the night!








Then, last night we walked down the street to our local park where they were showing an outdoor movie for kids. We loaded up the wagon with kids, chairs, and blankets and invited any kids who were outside to come with us. In the end, 17 of us from our street gathered to watch Madagascar together under the stars. There was a bounce house, rootbeer floats, and popcorn - all free! Such a fun summer night for our family. Thanks City of Sac!

I love my street

I love my street.

When we bought our house six years ago, I couldn't wait to meet to all of my neighbors. I was excited to learn their life stories and hoped to make some new friends. I took prayer walks around my neighborhood, praying for households and wondering who lived in them. Within a few months of moving in, we hosted a "Holiday Dessert" as an attempt to speed-up the process of getting to know everyone. Steve and I went door-to-door inviting all of our neighbors to join us for the dessert (and we got a lot of strange "what-are-you-trying-to-sell-me?" looks!). Much to my dismay, just ONE person showed up for the Dessert. My balloon of enthusiam was deflated that night and I quickly learned that getting to know people takes time...and common experiences.

About three years later, we got an amazing gift - a highly social, highly verbal, highly energetic toddler who loved to be outside - Jonah. And in no time flat, he had weaseled his way into the hearts of just about everyone on our street. When anyone walked by our door, he would yell out to them, "Hi, Kenny." "Hi, Suniti." "Hi, Zanaib." Soon, kids started swarming over to our house to play. This is a picture of Jonah at one-and-a-half, playing with some neighbors on our lawn.

Now, we spend nearly every night outside, talking to our neighbors as our kids play with one another. Some nights, we have up to 12 kids playing on our front lawn while we chat with 3 or 4 neighbors. It gives me great joy! Jonah has a best buddy across the street, Robbie, who he plays with just about every day. And I am fortunate to have developed some great friendships with the women on my street. These women and I are an unlikely bunch of friends. We are Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Catholic, and non-religious. We are from Pakastan, India, the Philippines, Mexico, Sacramento, and the Bay Area. On the outside, we seem vastly different. But as we spend time together and share our lives with one another, we learn that we are much the same. We are mothers who dearly love our kids; women who are trying to juggle work and home life; confidants who like to laugh and tell stories about our days. When I am with these women, I break down the stereotypes in my mind and I develop a deeper understanding of and appreciation for cultures that are different than my own.

Next post is about some recent fun we've had on our street....